Month: November 2014

Power of Persuasion… Part 4… Conclusion

Winning by persuasion

Persuasion and Peace
                 Persuasion and Peace
Jesus demonstrated the power of persuasion when He communicated with hostile or difficult people

A Samaritan woman had lived with several men. She needed salvation. Jesus knew the woman would not accept the truth from Him because of the hostility between the Jews and the Samaritans. He, therefore, started a friendly dialogue to make her talk to Him.

She was surprised that a Jew would ask a Samaritan water to drink. Jesus ignored her remark and dealt directly on her spiritual need.

He led her patiently, with persuasion, to the point where she could assimilate the truth and admit her sins.

With enmity out of the way, and Jesus now a friend, she could ask for the living water that Jesus said He had. Through that woman,  the rest of the Samaritans came to hear Jesus, and believed in Him (John 4:5-42).

Abraham Lincoln asked, “Am I not conquering my enemies when I make them my friends?”

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What the Qur’an also says about compelling people        

 “And whoever strives, he strives only for himself. Verily, Allah stands not in need of any of the ‘Alamin (mankind, jinn and all that exists)…” (29:6; The Noble Qur’an: English translation of the Meanings and Commentary.)

Again we read,

“And had your Lord willed, those on earth would have believed, all of them together. So, will you (O Muhammad) then compel mankind, until they become believers? It is not for any person to believe, except by the leave of Allah, and he will put the wrath on those who are heedless.” (10:99-100)

Why then do militants compel people to accept their religion?

Proverbs 15:2 says, “The tongue of the wise uses knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools pours out foolishness.”

Tenzuk FestivalCoercion, hate and violence do not win people’s sympathy.

Militants use violence to promote their religion, and yet they claim they promote a peaceful God, and a peaceful religion.

  • The New Testament presents a tolerant and peaceful way
  • Jesus asked His followers to use persuasion

Jesus said we must not pray for the destruction of our enemies. We should rather pray that they do not succeed in their evil ways. I pray that evil people will change and become good and peaceful children of God.

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The Bible way of treating enemies

When the Syrian army came to capture Elisha, he prayed and they became  blind and helpless. Elisha asked the King not to kill them, but feed, treat them well, and send them safely back to their home country (2 Kings 6:8-23).

Jesus would not allow His disciples to call fire on the Samaritans. They wanted to do as Elijah did (2 Kings 1:9-12).  Jesus told them the Spirit of the Christian (of the New Testament)  is not the same as the Old Testament (Luke 9:51-56). The Spirit in the Christian is loving and forgiving; Christians are to love even their worst enemies.

Learn to listen even when you disagree with people

We like to listen to what we agree with. However, we should also learn to listen to what we disagree with. We learn a lot about the person who is speaking when we listen; we learn why he or she is angry or why he or she has a different view.

Neuropsychologists (and neuroscientists) explain that, when we are alone and speaking to ourselves, one part of the brain speaks while the other part listens.

We must, therefore, learn to listen.

Angry people do not like listening to people; they want to speak while everyone else listens to them. If you do not listen to people, people will also not want to listen to you.

Effective listening starts with learning to respect other people’s views
  • Do not argue, do not debate, and do not force your views on people.
  • Do not strive to prove them wrong. Do not attack their views; you will indirectly make them dislike you.
  • Discuss; do not give instructions. Explain and give valid reasons.
  • Be friendly. See your opponent as a friend and not an antagonist.
  • Listen to their objections and address them candidly.
  • Tolerate and don’t be sarcastic in your remarks.
  • Smile …. don’t be angry.
Persuade; do not force

John Locke said,

“The care, therefore, of every man’s soul belongs unto himself, and is to be left unto himself…. No man can be forced to be rich or healthful, whether he will or no. Nay, God Himself will not save men against their wills.” (John Locke, A Letter Concerning Toleration; Prometheus Books, Buffalo, 1990, page 35)

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Power of Persuasion… Part 3

Learn to use the power of persuasion

Residents flee Hohoe violence
News report on conflict – Ghana

You can learn to use the power of peaceful persuasion to attract listeners.

It begins as a desire in your mind.  As you think and act you become. Jesus said,

“Therefore, I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.” (Mark 11:24; New King James Version)

Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinketh in his heart so is he.”

The seat of emotions (the amygdala) in the brain plays a significant role in controlling  the physical effects associated with feeling and action.

Our emotions can also make us react before the part of the brain responsible for thinking and evaluation is able to check on the reasonableness of our reaction. Angry and violent people follow their emotions; they react impulsively in anger. Some end up murdering or doing horrible things, as in the case of suicide bombers and religious militants. Some spouses, too, commit atrocious deeds when they are angry.

“He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly,” (Proverbs 14:29; New King James Version)

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Scientific studies on the mind and the human brain agree with the Bible that we can be transformed by the renewing of our mind (Romans 12:2).

Harry Mills, Ph.D., points out that “No one is born with a chronic anger problem. Rather, chronic anger and aggressive response styles are learned.” He explains further that,

“Children growing up in a household where one parent constantly berates and belittles the other learn to berate and belittle themselves, and then often recreate this behavior when they grow up and enter into relationships by berating and belittling their partners.” (Harry Mills, Ph.D., Anger Styles Are Learned, mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php)

Violent and angry people can retrain and reframe their minds and learn to become peaceful.

You need to constantly affirm your desire; repeating them daily. Your affirmations will affect your behavior and determination.

Muhammad Ali, regarded as the greatest in boxing history, was fantastic and ruled the ring for many years. He called himself the greatest and told the world that he was the greatest, even while he was striving to excel and had not yet become the world champion.  He said,

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to beliefs. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.”

Medical science reveals that the brain restructures itself and adapts according to the repetitions of actions. The brain recognizes repetitions as patterns, which eventually lead to habit formation. Repeating actions will eventually make them happen automatically or almost automatically.

Listening and making people listen is not difficult for many. Many do not know how to encourage people to listen
Listening to people and making people listen is difficult for many. Many do not know how to encourage people to listen

How to make people listen to you

  • Listen carefully and show interest in what they say.
  •  Do not argue, and do not force them to accept your views.
  • Do not strive to prove them wrong. Do not attack their views; you will indirectly make them dislike you.
  • Do not defend and do not debate. Discuss rather than instruct.
  • See your opponent as a friend and not an antagonist.
  • Listen to their objections and address them candidly. If you refuse to listen to them they, too, will not listen to you.
  • Tolerate and don’t be sarcastic in your remarks.
  • Smile …. don’t be angry.

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To be continued