Responding to anger without getting angry is difficult and frustrating…

So how can we respond to anger without getting angry?

Angry people are difficult to deal with. They frustrate people. To deal with them, you have to control your own emotions first – your anger. 

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Angry people are narrow-minded and acerbic with their words.

They have no patience to listen to divergent views.  They are sarcastic and insulting.

Don’t react angrily and negatively to what they say; even when they say negative things about your person. Do not echo their attitude!

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1; New King James Version)

Use positive words to correct their negative attitude. Encourage them to engage positively with you. For instance, instead of saying, “Your bottle is half empty,” say, “Your bottle is half full.”

Don’t return fire for fire.

You will stir their emotions and make them angrier when you use harsh language.

Angry people usually struggle to control their anger when told how wrong they are.

Their ego will not allow them to accept the truth when it is bitter. They become uncomfortable when you tell them straight in the face that they are wrong.

You trigger their emotions when you speak in a confrontational way. He or she feels you are attacking his or her opinion and so becomes defensive. Using the reverse method, instead of the frontal attack, therefore, can make them comfortable to listen to your differing opinion.

Don’t focus on your opponent’s anger or insults, because they can make you angry. And when you are angry, you may find it difficult to reason, and so, fail to explain your views well. Concentrate on what you want to say. Say it kindly and truthfully.

Don’t argue; you would be wasting time.

Medical research explains that when we speak, even alone to ourselves, one part of the brain speaks while the other part listens. Therefore, learn to listen to others when they air their views, even if you do not agree with them. You will learn a lot when you listen; it will help you understand the problem and how to deal with it appropriately.

Always aim at persuading; do not force.

Do not attack their views.

You may want to read, “An eye for an eye leaves the world blind.”

[End of Part 1]