Winning by persuasion
Jesus demonstrated the power of persuasion when He communicated with hostile or difficult people
A Samaritan woman had lived with several men. She needed salvation. Jesus knew the woman would not accept the truth from Him because of the hostility between the Jews and the Samaritans. He, therefore, started a friendly dialogue to make her talk to Him.
She was surprised that a Jew would ask a Samaritan water to drink. Jesus ignored her remark and dealt directly on her spiritual need.
He led her patiently, with persuasion, to the point where she could assimilate the truth and admit her sins.
With enmity out of the way, and Jesus now a friend, she could ask for the living water that Jesus said He had. Through that woman, the rest of the Samaritans came to hear Jesus, and believed in Him (John 4:5-42).
Abraham Lincoln asked, “Am I not conquering my enemies when I make them my friends?”
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What the Qur’an also says about compelling people
“And whoever strives, he strives only for himself. Verily, Allah stands not in need of any of the ‘Alamin (mankind, jinn and all that exists)…” (29:6; The Noble Qur’an: English translation of the Meanings and Commentary.)
Again we read,
“And had your Lord willed, those on earth would have believed, all of them together. So, will you (O Muhammad) then compel mankind, until they become believers? It is not for any person to believe, except by the leave of Allah, and he will put the wrath on those who are heedless.” (10:99-100)
Why then do militants compel people to accept their religion?
Proverbs 15:2 says, “The tongue of the wise uses knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools pours out foolishness.”
Coercion, hate and violence do not win people’s sympathy.
Militants use violence to promote their religion, and yet they claim they promote a peaceful God, and a peaceful religion.
- The New Testament presents a tolerant and peaceful way
- Jesus asked His followers to use persuasion
Jesus said we must not pray for the destruction of our enemies. We should rather pray that they do not succeed in their evil ways. I pray that evil people will change and become good and peaceful children of God.
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The Bible way of treating enemies
When the Syrian army came to capture Elisha, he prayed and they became blind and helpless. Elisha asked the King not to kill them, but feed, treat them well, and send them safely back to their home country (2 Kings 6:8-23).
Jesus would not allow His disciples to call fire on the Samaritans. They wanted to do as Elijah did (2 Kings 1:9-12). Jesus told them the Spirit of the Christian (of the New Testament) is not the same as the Old Testament (Luke 9:51-56). The Spirit in the Christian is loving and forgiving; Christians are to love even their worst enemies.
Learn to listen even when you disagree with people
We like to listen to what we agree with. However, we should also learn to listen to what we disagree with. We learn a lot about the person who is speaking when we listen; we learn why he or she is angry or why he or she has a different view.
Neuropsychologists (and neuroscientists) explain that, when we are alone and speaking to ourselves, one part of the brain speaks while the other part listens.
We must, therefore, learn to listen.
Angry people do not like listening to people; they want to speak while everyone else listens to them. If you do not listen to people, people will also not want to listen to you.
Effective listening starts with learning to respect other people’s views
- Do not argue, do not debate, and do not force your views on people.
- Do not strive to prove them wrong. Do not attack their views; you will indirectly make them dislike you.
- Discuss; do not give instructions. Explain and give valid reasons.
- Be friendly. See your opponent as a friend and not an antagonist.
- Listen to their objections and address them candidly.
- Tolerate and don’t be sarcastic in your remarks.
- Smile …. don’t be angry.
Persuade; do not force
John Locke said,
“The care, therefore, of every man’s soul belongs unto himself, and is to be left unto himself…. No man can be forced to be rich or healthful, whether he will or no. Nay, God Himself will not save men against their wills.” (John Locke, A Letter Concerning Toleration; Prometheus Books, Buffalo, 1990, page 35)