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Power of Persuasion… Part 4… Conclusion

Winning by persuasion

Persuasion and Peace
                 Persuasion and Peace
Jesus demonstrated the power of persuasion when He communicated with hostile or difficult people

A Samaritan woman had lived with several men. She needed salvation. Jesus knew the woman would not accept the truth from Him because of the hostility between the Jews and the Samaritans. He, therefore, started a friendly dialogue to make her talk to Him.

She was surprised that a Jew would ask a Samaritan water to drink. Jesus ignored her remark and dealt directly on her spiritual need.

He led her patiently, with persuasion, to the point where she could assimilate the truth and admit her sins.

With enmity out of the way, and Jesus now a friend, she could ask for the living water that Jesus said He had. Through that woman,  the rest of the Samaritans came to hear Jesus, and believed in Him (John 4:5-42).

Abraham Lincoln asked, “Am I not conquering my enemies when I make them my friends?”

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What the Qur’an also says about compelling people        

 “And whoever strives, he strives only for himself. Verily, Allah stands not in need of any of the ‘Alamin (mankind, jinn and all that exists)…” (29:6; The Noble Qur’an: English translation of the Meanings and Commentary.)

Again we read,

“And had your Lord willed, those on earth would have believed, all of them together. So, will you (O Muhammad) then compel mankind, until they become believers? It is not for any person to believe, except by the leave of Allah, and he will put the wrath on those who are heedless.” (10:99-100)

Why then do militants compel people to accept their religion?

Proverbs 15:2 says, “The tongue of the wise uses knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools pours out foolishness.”

Tenzuk FestivalCoercion, hate and violence do not win people’s sympathy.

Militants use violence to promote their religion, and yet they claim they promote a peaceful God, and a peaceful religion.

  • The New Testament presents a tolerant and peaceful way
  • Jesus asked His followers to use persuasion

Jesus said we must not pray for the destruction of our enemies. We should rather pray that they do not succeed in their evil ways. I pray that evil people will change and become good and peaceful children of God.

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The Bible way of treating enemies

When the Syrian army came to capture Elisha, he prayed and they became  blind and helpless. Elisha asked the King not to kill them, but feed, treat them well, and send them safely back to their home country (2 Kings 6:8-23).

Jesus would not allow His disciples to call fire on the Samaritans. They wanted to do as Elijah did (2 Kings 1:9-12).  Jesus told them the Spirit of the Christian (of the New Testament)  is not the same as the Old Testament (Luke 9:51-56). The Spirit in the Christian is loving and forgiving; Christians are to love even their worst enemies.

Learn to listen even when you disagree with people

We like to listen to what we agree with. However, we should also learn to listen to what we disagree with. We learn a lot about the person who is speaking when we listen; we learn why he or she is angry or why he or she has a different view.

Neuropsychologists (and neuroscientists) explain that, when we are alone and speaking to ourselves, one part of the brain speaks while the other part listens.

We must, therefore, learn to listen.

Angry people do not like listening to people; they want to speak while everyone else listens to them. If you do not listen to people, people will also not want to listen to you.

Effective listening starts with learning to respect other people’s views
  • Do not argue, do not debate, and do not force your views on people.
  • Do not strive to prove them wrong. Do not attack their views; you will indirectly make them dislike you.
  • Discuss; do not give instructions. Explain and give valid reasons.
  • Be friendly. See your opponent as a friend and not an antagonist.
  • Listen to their objections and address them candidly.
  • Tolerate and don’t be sarcastic in your remarks.
  • Smile …. don’t be angry.
Persuade; do not force

John Locke said,

“The care, therefore, of every man’s soul belongs unto himself, and is to be left unto himself…. No man can be forced to be rich or healthful, whether he will or no. Nay, God Himself will not save men against their wills.” (John Locke, A Letter Concerning Toleration; Prometheus Books, Buffalo, 1990, page 35)

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Power of Persuasion… Part 3

Learn to use the power of persuasion

Residents flee Hohoe violence
News report on conflict – Ghana

You can learn to use the power of peaceful persuasion to attract listeners.

It begins as a desire in your mind.  As you think and act you become. Jesus said,

“Therefore, I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.” (Mark 11:24; New King James Version)

Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinketh in his heart so is he.”

The seat of emotions (the amygdala) in the brain plays a significant role in controlling  the physical effects associated with feeling and action.

Our emotions can also make us react before the part of the brain responsible for thinking and evaluation is able to check on the reasonableness of our reaction. Angry and violent people follow their emotions; they react impulsively in anger. Some end up murdering or doing horrible things, as in the case of suicide bombers and religious militants. Some spouses, too, commit atrocious deeds when they are angry.

“He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly,” (Proverbs 14:29; New King James Version)

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Scientific studies on the mind and the human brain agree with the Bible that we can be transformed by the renewing of our mind (Romans 12:2).

Harry Mills, Ph.D., points out that “No one is born with a chronic anger problem. Rather, chronic anger and aggressive response styles are learned.” He explains further that,

“Children growing up in a household where one parent constantly berates and belittles the other learn to berate and belittle themselves, and then often recreate this behavior when they grow up and enter into relationships by berating and belittling their partners.” (Harry Mills, Ph.D., Anger Styles Are Learned, mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php)

Violent and angry people can retrain and reframe their minds and learn to become peaceful.

You need to constantly affirm your desire; repeating them daily. Your affirmations will affect your behavior and determination.

Muhammad Ali, regarded as the greatest in boxing history, was fantastic and ruled the ring for many years. He called himself the greatest and told the world that he was the greatest, even while he was striving to excel and had not yet become the world champion.  He said,

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to beliefs. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.”

Medical science reveals that the brain restructures itself and adapts according to the repetitions of actions. The brain recognizes repetitions as patterns, which eventually lead to habit formation. Repeating actions will eventually make them happen automatically or almost automatically.

Listening and making people listen is not difficult for many. Many do not know how to encourage people to listen
Listening to people and making people listen is difficult for many. Many do not know how to encourage people to listen

How to make people listen to you

  • Listen carefully and show interest in what they say.
  •  Do not argue, and do not force them to accept your views.
  • Do not strive to prove them wrong. Do not attack their views; you will indirectly make them dislike you.
  • Do not defend and do not debate. Discuss rather than instruct.
  • See your opponent as a friend and not an antagonist.
  • Listen to their objections and address them candidly. If you refuse to listen to them they, too, will not listen to you.
  • Tolerate and don’t be sarcastic in your remarks.
  • Smile …. don’t be angry.

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To be continued

Power of Persuasion… Part 2

There is power in persuasion

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“..yes, the time is coming that whoever kills you will think that he offers God service.” (Jesus – John 16:2)
Persuasion has power to win without inflicting harm.

Religious Militants do not know the art of persuasion. They force people to accept their views.

Rockeybell at BarCamp Mentoring Program October 2014
Rockeybell at BarCamp Mentoring Program October 2014

Learn to win without attacking

Learn to present your message effectively without using physical force.
Present your facts; do not attack your opponents’ beliefs.

When you attack them, you make them hate you.

The Christian church was established through the power of persuasive speech. (Acts chapter 2)

Peter, on the day of Pentecost, stood before a hostile crowd, and used the power of persuasion to convict the hearts of listeners. The followers of Jesus Christ were only 120. For fear of being arrested and killed, they hid themselves in the upper room, and prayed.
Thousands of devout Jews from every nation had come to celebrate the Jewish religious festival in Jerusalem; just as millions of Muslims go to Mecca every year for the Hajj.
As the disciples waited on God and prayed, the Holy Spirit came upon them, and they started speaking with other tongues. People who heard them mocked, because they  thought they were drunk.

Peter stood up and spoke persuasively, testifying about Jesus. He exhorted them, and convinced them to abandon their wrong ways and follow Jesus.

Peter did not use physical force to make people believe in Jesus. His words cut their hearts, and they asked, “Men and brethren, what shall we do?”

Peter replied,

“Repent, and let everyone of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call.” (Acts 2:37-39; New King James Version)

About three thousand souls believed and became followers of Jesus Christ that day through the power of persuasion; not by the sword.
(We shall continue to examine the power of persuasion in subsequent discussions)

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History records wars between Muslims and Christians... A book by Rockeybell
History records wars between Muslims and Christians… A book by Rockeybell

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The Almighty, Peaceful, Loving and Compassionate God does not force people to love Him. When we attack people physically and compel them, we make them hate us. One does not have to kill people if one’s message has substance to convince.
Jesus told us  to warn people, but not to attack them. He said we should leave them to God; God will deal with them on the Day of Judgement. (Luke 10:8-12)
Jesus commaded His followers to  love their enemies; not to hate them.

“But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.” (Luke 6:27-29; New King James)

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Christians are allowed to defend themselves; they are not to be aggressors.
Jesus asked,

“But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.” (Luke 6:32-33; New King James Version)

Jesus Christ told His followers  to be different from others. He told them to demonstrate their beliefs by persuading people; no force and no violence.
People who attack and kill innocent people are not true followers of God. They do not have the Spirit of the Compassionate God in them. At a certain time, the disciples were angry with some Samaritans. They remembered Prophet Elijah had called down fire to consume people who had come to arrest him (2 Kings 1:9-12). They asked Jesus to allow them also call fire to consume the Samaritans.

“But He turned and rebuked them, and said, ‘You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.’ And they went to another village.” (Luke 9:55-56; New King James Version)

Jesus said He did not come to destroy people’s lives. He came to save. True and saving religion does not destroy innocent people’s lives.

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To be continued

Power of Persuasion…. Part 1

The Power of Persuasion: How and Why

Islamic Militants may not know that  persuasion has tremendous power to convince listeners.

  • Jesus taught His followers to use persuasion
  • He showed them how to win without attacking their opponents

(We shall discuss how to win without attacking as we progress.)

WINNING WITHOUT ATTACKING
Paper (Hard Copy) version of “Persuasion is Better Than Force.”

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Jesus demonstrated the power of persuasion when He communicated with hostile or difficult people.

The Samaritan woman had lived with several men. She needed salvation. However, because of the hostility  between Jews and Samaritans, Jesus knew she would not accept the truth from Him, a Jew. Jesus, therefore, started a friendly dialogue to make her talk to Him. She was surprised that a Jew would ask a Samaritan water to drink. Jesus ignored her remark and dealt directly on her spiritual need.

He led her patiently to the point where she could assimilate the truth and admit her  sins. With enmity out of the way, and Jesus now a friend, she could ask for the living water that Jesus said He had.

Abraham Lincoln said, “I conquer my enemies when I make them my friends.”
Proverbs 15:2 says, “The tongue of the wise uses knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools pours out foolishness.”

Coercion, hate and violence do not win people’s sympathy.

Militants use violence to promote their religion, and yet they claim they promote a peaceful God and a peaceful religion.

  • The Bible presents a tolerant and peaceful way
  • Jesus told His disciples to use persuasion

Jesus gives true peace…

” Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27: New King James Version)

Christ’s Spirit makes us tolerant

Before he became a Christian, Paul persecuted Christians. But when he became a Christian, he learned the way of the Master Jesus – persuasion.

Why militants can’t tolerate others

They were trained from childhood, by their parents, peers and community leaders, to express themselves through violence. They were not allowed to exercise their own freewill to accept God, but were forced to do so.

Growing up in such environments, they copied the violent behaviors of those who influenced them, and became violent. When they fail to convince people, they become frustrated and end up attacking people. They call their violence ‘peace,‘ because that is how they know peace to be.

John Locke said,
“…true and saving religion consists in the inward persuasion of the mind, without which nothing can be acceptable to God.” (John Locke, A Letter Concerning Toleration. Buffalo, New York: Prometheus Books, 1990; page 20)

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Jesus exhibited a perfect spirit of tolerance.

The disciples were angry with some Samaritans who would not allow Jesus into their city. They wanted to call fire from heaven to consume the Samaritans just as Elijah did in 2 Kings 1:9-12. Jesus rebuked them, and said, “You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.” So they went to another village.” (Luke 9:51-56)

Jesus said,
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” (Matthew 5:43-45; New King James Version).

We hear of Boko Haram killing innocent people – destroying towns and villages. Yet we know that the Almighty God is peaceful and loving. They abduct women, and rape some of them. Can the victims accept that Boko Haram presents peace?

People will, therefore, continue believing that Boko Haram, Al-Qaeda, Al-Shabaab, and all militants are violent.

To be continued

How Christianity wins without attacking

Winning without attacking people

WE CONQUER WITHOUT VIOLENCE
  • Violent, intolerant people become angry when they fail to convince people to accept their views.
  • Angry husbands brutalize their wives and children when they are unable to make them accept their views.
  • Religious militants attack people and force their religions on them.

Compelling people to accept your views will not make them love you

Jesus taught His followers to use peaceful persuasion.

Aesop illustrates  this in a fable, the North Wind and the Sun.

The North Wind and the Sun argued about who was stronger. They agreed to try their powers upon a traveler, to see who could strip him of his cloak. The North Wind, gathering up all his force, came whirling furiously down upon the man, and caught up his cloak to wrest it from him; but the harder he blew, the more closely the man wrapped it round himself. Failing, he called upon the Sun to see what he, too, could do.

At first, the Sun beamed gently and warmly upon the traveler. The traveler, feeling the genial rays of the sun took off his garment, and walked with it hanging loosely on his shoulders. The Sun continued gradually until he finally released his full strength. At last, the man, overcome with heat, undressed and bathed in a stream that lay in his path, before completing his journey, more lightly clad.

When the Wind tried to wrest the cloak from the traveler, he fought back; on the other hand, when the Sun suggested that it was uncomfortable for him to wear his cloak in that heat, the man accepted the suggestion.

Convincing the listener is  more effective in winning a person

Do not compel people to believe.  Jesus said,

“But whatever city you enter, and they do not receive you, go out into its streets and say, ‘The very dust of your city which clings to us we wipe off against you. Nevertheless know this that the kingdom of God has come near you.’ But I say to you that it will be more tolerable in that Day for Sodom than for that city.” (Luke 10:10-12)

Biblical Christianity is non-violent

God has tremendous power to control people’s minds to worship Him. Yet, He has chosen not to do so. Being a loving God, He does not send suicide bombers to kill innocent people.

Why do Islamic militants prefer using force to make others accept their views?

The Qur’an, in 29:6, says, “And whoever strives, he strives only for himself. Verily, Allah stands not in need of any of the ‘Alamin (mankind, jinn and all that exists)…” (The Noble Qur’an: English translation of the Meanings and Commentary.)

The Qur’an emphatically declares that, “There is no compulsion in religion,” (2:256)

Again we read,

“And had your Lord willed, those on earth would have believed, all of them together. So, will you (O Muhammad) then compel mankind, until they become believers? It is not for any person to believe, except by the leave of Allah, and he will put the wrath on those who are heedless.” (10:99-100)

Why then do Muslim militants compel people to worship Allah?

Suicide bombers attack and kill people because they believe that when they die in the attacks, they will gain paradise. The militants, therefore, do not commit the atrocities on God’s behalf.

  • Jesus used love and persuasion to win Zacchaeus, (Luke 19:1-10)
  • He used persuasion to make the Samaritan woman understand Him, (John 4:7-30)
  • He said, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you; bless those who curse you and pray for those who spitefully use you,” (Luke 6:27-28)

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Christianity wins without attacking
Christianity wins by love. Jesus taught us to win without attacking.
True and saving religion should have the power to appeal

Genuine religion should be able to persuade and draw people to itself. When we use force we rather emphasize the negative judgments people have formed of us.

Killing innocent people, and abducting defenseless girls and women in the name of God does not help promote God’s cause.

Burning villages and churches, and killing Christians and people who do not accept their religions rather make the victims to hate the attackers and their religions.

We present a wicked, hardhearted God when we are intolerant and violent.

Winning Without Attacking
Rockeybell speaking on “How to communicate with hostile people.”

The Christian God is non-violent

  • The Christian God loves
  • He is truly compassionate.
  • He does not terrorize people.

Share your views with us on winning without fighting, and how can we make the world peaceful.

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God’s Executioners: Killing In God’s Name… Part 2

Killing in God’s Name

Jesus Christ taught his followers the way of peace; not to kill, but to express their views or beliefs without violence
  • Jesus did not come to kill; He came to promote a new order, modifying the Old Testament way of doing things.
  • He told His followers they should not compel people to accept their message. He said,

“But whatever city you enter, and they do not receive you, go out into its streets and say, ‘The very dust of your city which clings to us we wipe off against you. Nevertheless know this that the kingdom of God has come near you.’ But I say to you that it will be more tolerable in that Day for Sodom than for that city.” (Luke 10:10-12… New King James Version)

When we attack people to promote our cause, we make them to see us as violent

God does not compel people to love Him

God sent Jonah to go and preach to the people of Nineveh so they would change from their wicked ways, else He would destroy them. It was not because they did not worship Him.
Jonah fled to Tarshish in a ship. God sent out a great wind on the sea and created turbulence. Jonah told the frightened mariners that he was the cause. He said they should throw him into the sea for the turbulence to cease.
All that while, God had not killed anyone. Innocent people did not suffer because of Jonah.

They threw Jonah into the sea, and the sea ceased raging. The result was a profound impression on the people; they offered sacrifice to God and took vows.

God did not use force to make them obey, and He did not kill them because Jonah was around them.

In spite of Jonah’s behavior, God spared his life. God prepared a great fish to swallow Jonah. No mention of what particular fish it was. After three days and three nights, Jonah realized God did not intend killing him. He prayed to God, and God made the fish vomit Jonah on the shore. Jonah went to tell people to change their ways and they did.

God forgave them and turned His anger away from them.

That is the way of a peace-loving God

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God’s Executioners: Killing in God’s name… Part 1

Does God need executioners?

Does the Almighty God, who has the ultimate power to do what He pleases, need human beings to force other people do His bidding?

Can’t the Almighty God fight His own battles?

How can we really tell who is fighting on God’s behalf, since many different religious organizations or sects claim to be fighting for God’s cause?
Can all the different religious people, with their differences in doctrines, be fighting for God?
God is not the author of confusion. 1 Corinthians 14:33, “For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints (New King James Version). So how can God instruct all the different groups to go out and kill in His name, with their contradictory doctrines?

Murder in God’s  Name

  • In Nigeria, the Islamic militants, Boko Haram, stormed a secondary  school in Yobe and killed 29 boys and burnt the school to the ground. The Police reported that some of the student’s bodies were burnt to ashes.
  • In Maiduguri, fighters killed 90 people in an early morning attack on a remote village. Gunmen surrounded the village of Izge, near the border with Cameroon, sprayed it with bullets, and set off explosions to burn down houses.

These brutalities are done in the name of the Almighty God, “The Compassionate One,” the “Ever Merciful God.”

Jesus taught His followers to conquer by persuasion; not by force

Jesus Christ taught his followers to express their views or beliefs by love. He told His followers they should not compel people to accept their message, (Luke 10:10-12.), because He came to promote peace. That means, Christians who indulge in violence and brutalities are not obeying their Master Jesus.
Using persuasion may take time; that is why violent-minded people do not want to take that course. However, that method is devoid of the deaths, pain and sufferings that follow violence and suicide bombings.

If you are patient, you can use persuasion to get people to accept your suggestions or views.

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Welcome to “Conquering Without Being Violent.”

Conquering Without Being Violent  WIN WITHOUT ATTACKING  Conquering Without Being Violent 001

Can Violent Militants Change?

Daily we read of Islamic militants (Al-Qaeda, Al-Shabaab, Boko Haram, ISIS, etc.), The Lord’s Resistance Army, and suicide bombers using violence to press home their demands. They attack and kill innocent people as they force their decisions and beliefs on them.
School pupils explode in anger and shoot their colleague pupils and teachers.
Islamic militants abduct girls from schools in rural African communities, claiming their religion does not allow females to have education. They rape some of them, impregnating them in the process, and eventually sell them or compel them to marry men the girls do not love.

A loving God does not use hate to make people love Him

“Conquering Without Being Violent” discusses how persuasion convinces people rather than force.
Abraham Lincoln said, we conquer our enemies when we make them our friends.
Jesus told His followers never to use force to make people accept their views. He told His followers to love their enemies; not to hate them.

Topics to discuss on this platform include:

  1. Engaging  people in peaceful dialog
  2. Disagreeing without being offensive
  3. Defending without being polemical

You can conquer by persuasion without being violent

Do you get angry easily?
Are you violent in your reactions?
Do you want to form a new loving and patient habit?
Do you want to turn enemies into friends?

Discussions will include:

  • Using gentle ways in presenting views.
  • Training our angry emotions to calm down in angry situations.
  • Helping the brutish husband to learn to listen.
  • Helping a disrespectful child to learn to listen and obey.
  • Helping the cantankerous wife to learn to listen.
  • Helping the opinionated boss to learn listen to other views.

Truth should be able to persuade and draw people to one’s cause

A person who is persuaded to abandon his or her position voluntarily, will see it as his or her own decision; he or she does not feel coerced.

Is there hope for the chronically angry person?

Why do some people get angry easily?
Can the violent person change?
Can the hot-tempered person change?

Can we control our emotions?