Tag: Conflict

Power of Persuasion… Part 3

Learn to use the power of persuasion

Residents flee Hohoe violence
News report on conflict – Ghana

You can learn to use the power of peaceful persuasion to attract listeners.

It begins as a desire in your mind.  As you think and act you become. Jesus said,

“Therefore, I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.” (Mark 11:24; New King James Version)

Proverbs 23:7 says, “For as he thinketh in his heart so is he.”

The seat of emotions (the amygdala) in the brain plays a significant role in controlling  the physical effects associated with feeling and action.

Our emotions can also make us react before the part of the brain responsible for thinking and evaluation is able to check on the reasonableness of our reaction. Angry and violent people follow their emotions; they react impulsively in anger. Some end up murdering or doing horrible things, as in the case of suicide bombers and religious militants. Some spouses, too, commit atrocious deeds when they are angry.

“He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly,” (Proverbs 14:29; New King James Version)

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Scientific studies on the mind and the human brain agree with the Bible that we can be transformed by the renewing of our mind (Romans 12:2).

Harry Mills, Ph.D., points out that “No one is born with a chronic anger problem. Rather, chronic anger and aggressive response styles are learned.” He explains further that,

“Children growing up in a household where one parent constantly berates and belittles the other learn to berate and belittle themselves, and then often recreate this behavior when they grow up and enter into relationships by berating and belittling their partners.” (Harry Mills, Ph.D., Anger Styles Are Learned, mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php)

Violent and angry people can retrain and reframe their minds and learn to become peaceful.

You need to constantly affirm your desire; repeating them daily. Your affirmations will affect your behavior and determination.

Muhammad Ali, regarded as the greatest in boxing history, was fantastic and ruled the ring for many years. He called himself the greatest and told the world that he was the greatest, even while he was striving to excel and had not yet become the world champion.  He said,

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to beliefs. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.”

Medical science reveals that the brain restructures itself and adapts according to the repetitions of actions. The brain recognizes repetitions as patterns, which eventually lead to habit formation. Repeating actions will eventually make them happen automatically or almost automatically.

Listening and making people listen is not difficult for many. Many do not know how to encourage people to listen
Listening to people and making people listen is difficult for many. Many do not know how to encourage people to listen

How to make people listen to you

  • Listen carefully and show interest in what they say.
  •  Do not argue, and do not force them to accept your views.
  • Do not strive to prove them wrong. Do not attack their views; you will indirectly make them dislike you.
  • Do not defend and do not debate. Discuss rather than instruct.
  • See your opponent as a friend and not an antagonist.
  • Listen to their objections and address them candidly. If you refuse to listen to them they, too, will not listen to you.
  • Tolerate and don’t be sarcastic in your remarks.
  • Smile …. don’t be angry.

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To be continued

God’s Executioners: Killing In God’s Name… Part 2

Killing in God’s Name

Jesus Christ taught his followers the way of peace; not to kill, but to express their views or beliefs without violence
  • Jesus did not come to kill; He came to promote a new order, modifying the Old Testament way of doing things.
  • He told His followers they should not compel people to accept their message. He said,

“But whatever city you enter, and they do not receive you, go out into its streets and say, ‘The very dust of your city which clings to us we wipe off against you. Nevertheless know this that the kingdom of God has come near you.’ But I say to you that it will be more tolerable in that Day for Sodom than for that city.” (Luke 10:10-12… New King James Version)

When we attack people to promote our cause, we make them to see us as violent

God does not compel people to love Him

God sent Jonah to go and preach to the people of Nineveh so they would change from their wicked ways, else He would destroy them. It was not because they did not worship Him.
Jonah fled to Tarshish in a ship. God sent out a great wind on the sea and created turbulence. Jonah told the frightened mariners that he was the cause. He said they should throw him into the sea for the turbulence to cease.
All that while, God had not killed anyone. Innocent people did not suffer because of Jonah.

They threw Jonah into the sea, and the sea ceased raging. The result was a profound impression on the people; they offered sacrifice to God and took vows.

God did not use force to make them obey, and He did not kill them because Jonah was around them.

In spite of Jonah’s behavior, God spared his life. God prepared a great fish to swallow Jonah. No mention of what particular fish it was. After three days and three nights, Jonah realized God did not intend killing him. He prayed to God, and God made the fish vomit Jonah on the shore. Jonah went to tell people to change their ways and they did.

God forgave them and turned His anger away from them.

That is the way of a peace-loving God

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Welcome to “Conquering Without Being Violent.”

Conquering Without Being Violent  WIN WITHOUT ATTACKING  Conquering Without Being Violent 001

Can Violent Militants Change?

Daily we read of Islamic militants (Al-Qaeda, Al-Shabaab, Boko Haram, ISIS, etc.), The Lord’s Resistance Army, and suicide bombers using violence to press home their demands. They attack and kill innocent people as they force their decisions and beliefs on them.
School pupils explode in anger and shoot their colleague pupils and teachers.
Islamic militants abduct girls from schools in rural African communities, claiming their religion does not allow females to have education. They rape some of them, impregnating them in the process, and eventually sell them or compel them to marry men the girls do not love.

A loving God does not use hate to make people love Him

“Conquering Without Being Violent” discusses how persuasion convinces people rather than force.
Abraham Lincoln said, we conquer our enemies when we make them our friends.
Jesus told His followers never to use force to make people accept their views. He told His followers to love their enemies; not to hate them.

Topics to discuss on this platform include:

  1. Engaging  people in peaceful dialog
  2. Disagreeing without being offensive
  3. Defending without being polemical

You can conquer by persuasion without being violent

Do you get angry easily?
Are you violent in your reactions?
Do you want to form a new loving and patient habit?
Do you want to turn enemies into friends?

Discussions will include:

  • Using gentle ways in presenting views.
  • Training our angry emotions to calm down in angry situations.
  • Helping the brutish husband to learn to listen.
  • Helping a disrespectful child to learn to listen and obey.
  • Helping the cantankerous wife to learn to listen.
  • Helping the opinionated boss to learn listen to other views.

Truth should be able to persuade and draw people to one’s cause

A person who is persuaded to abandon his or her position voluntarily, will see it as his or her own decision; he or she does not feel coerced.

Is there hope for the chronically angry person?

Why do some people get angry easily?
Can the violent person change?
Can the hot-tempered person change?

Can we control our emotions?