Presentation on Making People Listen Without Provoking Them
Do you struggle with the question, “How do I make people like me and listen to me?”
Do you wonder why people hate you and your cause?… why people say negative things about you and your beliefs?
You might have tried many times to explain and give reasons as to why people should accept your views, why they should accept your religion or your party’s ideology without success. In spite of efforts, you continue to fail; nobody listens to you; nobody seems to like you or your religion.They hate you, and you wonder why.
Your attitude may be the problem!
People will not like you if you cannot tolerate them. They will not like you if you force your views on them. Allow people to analyze what you tell them; allow them the freedom to decide to agree or disagree with you. When you are wrong, admit it; do not be angry when people tell you that you are wrong. Do not be on the defensive when you are wrong. Allow them to explain or express their views.
Respect people’s opinions; be polite when you disagree with their opinions. Learn to listen to people when they express themselves and tell you what they want. Do not be like religious militants who do not listen to other people’s opinions .
Don’t be insulting. Don’t make people’s lives miserable.
“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity,” Psalm 133:1.
Dining together in love and unity (Queens Bible Church, New York)
It is incompatible with the character of the God of mercy to kill innocent and helpless people. Therefore, do not project a deity that is always angry and murderous.
The God of peace and mercy loves all the time. He persuades and gently leads people to the truth.
Instead of killing, the God of peace and love gives life and happiness.
When you are sarcastic, you make people angry.
Sarcasm makes it difficult for people to listen when you express your views. Sarcasm does not win empathy or understanding.
Your body language might make your suggestions or responses appear insulting.
A vicious personality portrays you as a violent person.
You can’t convince people that your religion is peaceful when you are hostile and attack people who disagree with you.
Violent behaviors and murderous actions are some reasons people may see you as evil and murderous.
Remember that you can win people to your cause without being violent or angry.
How long have you been battling with the question of “how to make people listen to you”?
Do you struggle with the question of “how to make people accept your message”?
Do you get angry and frustrated when people reject your message?
Do you use the frontal attack as religious militants do?
The frontal attack is combative.
It attacks the listener in the guise of providing information, and triggers a fight response from the listener. It is aggressive in approach and invites same in response.
It is the method militants use.It is not peaceful, and has no touch of love. It is brutal and does not consider the feelings and rights of others.
Never use the frontal attack; use the reverse method
Explain the benefits of what you are offering. Make the listener see how he or she will benefit. Do not force the listener. Let him or her decide; let him or her choose willingly. People want to choose what they want, and what they think will benefit them.
The Samaritan woman Jesus met by the well had lived a life of a whore; she had lived with five different people. At the time Jesus met her, she was living with a sixth man, (John 4:17-18). She needed spiritual deliverance. However,Jesus knew that the existing enmity between the Jews and the Samaritans could make it difficult for her to listen to Him. He, therefore, used the reverse method. He asked her for water. When she reminded Jesus that Jews and Samaritans did not talk to each other, Jesus ignored the remark, and rather stated her spiritual need.
Jesus told her,
“If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who is saying to you, ‘Please give me a drink,’ you would have been the one to ask him, and he would have given you living water.” (International Standard Version)
Jesus used ‘water’ to get the woman’s attention. Water was her need at that time. She wondered how Jesus would give her living water when He had no bucket to draw water; besides, moments ago He had asked her for water to drink. Jesus was using a strategy to engage her to talk back so He could explain to her the spiritual gift He had for her. If Jesus had started by telling her He wanted to give her a gift, she would have ignored Him.
When she retorted, Jesus ignored her sarcasm and rather emphasized on her spiritual need. She became interested in the special water that could “become a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.” (John 4:14) He was offering the woman eternal life by using what she valued at the time -‘water’. He got her undivided attention. She was no more thinking about the enmity between Jews and Samaritans. She was now willing to receive from a Jew. She said,
“Sir, give me this water that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw water.” (John 4:15)
Jesus now had to make her confess her life of sin. Again, He refrained from using the frontal method. He did not tell her, “You must confess your sin before I can give you this water.”That would have provoked her. She would have called other Samaritans to come and see a Jew who had the audacity to come to the city of Samaritans and insult a Samaritan. Angry Samaritans would have come out to lynch that Jew. He told her to go and bring her husband, though He knew she had no husband. The woman on her own volition confessed that she had no husband. By her confession she gave Jesus the opportunity to remind her the number of men she had lived with.
That was a powerful revelation
She wondered, “How can this man know my secret life? Is He a prophet?” She answered back, “Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet.” She proceeded to talk about worship and the disagreement between Jews and Samaritans, providing Jesus the opportunity to teach her. After listening to Jesus expound on worship and spirituality, and telling her He was the Messiah, she became convinced. She left her water pot, went her way into the city, and told other Samaritans about the stranger who could be the Christ; her testimony drew the people to Jesus.
People will listen to you if you articulate your views convincingly
Do not use force as the Boko Haram, Al-Shabaab, ISIS, Al-Qaeda, and other religious militants are doing
Aftermath of Boko Haram Islamic militant attack and destruction of a village and a Christian church in northern Nigeria
Do not attack people when they do not readily respond to your message
Show them the beauty of your cause, not the ugliness and hatred of your cause
Patiently discuss how the listener stands to gain when he or she accepts what you are offering.
