Welcome to The Peacemaker, known as Conquering Without Being Violent. Our motivator is Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace.
Strive for peace with everyone.
“Strive for peace with everyone, and for holiness without which no one will see the Lord.” (Hebrews 12:14; ESV)
The Bible enjoins us to strive for peace with all people.
Think of what good you can do for people, your community, and your country. Always promote peace and love. Have good thoughts and ideas concerning humanity. Be an agent of peace. Feed your mind with good thoughts and ideas.
Avoid arguments as much as possible. There may be times when you cannot avoid arguments. In such a situation Dr. Winch, a psychologist, recommends that, instead of engaging in a protracted debate, state your case clearly and calmly, and then end the discussion.
The Bible tells us not to waste our time arguing with people when it is obvious that they are not ready to reason. End the discussion when you observe that the discussion is proving unproductive. But make your point clear before you decide not to continue.
The Apostle Paul writes in 2 Timothy 2:23-25
23 Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, 25 correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth. (ESV)
Arguments breed quarrels. God’s servant must not be quarrelsome. We must be gentle, and kind. We should teach instead of attacking people who disagree with us. Paul advises that we should be teachable when correcting people who are wrong. We should not only teach but be ready to learn from people who disagree with us if what they say makes sense. We must listen and then analyze what they say. We should always try to make friends with people even when we disagree with them.
Abraham Lincoln said, “I conquer my enemies when I make them my friends.” So, don’t consider people who do not readily accept your views as enemies. Find ways to make them your friends.
Some people do not accept their faults. They will argue and try to prove others wrong, even when they are wrong. Be patient when dealing with such people, knowing that you, too, are expressing a different opinion.
People who don’t want to admit that they are wrong will not listen to opposing views. They will vehemently argue against you and anything that you say. Don’t waste your time arguing with people who do not listen to you and don’t want to listen to you.
Just declare your position, and then let go. But let the person who is arguing with you know your position. It is important to make your views known. But you don’t compel people to accept your views. Even God does not compel us. He says in Isaiah 1:18, “Come now, let us reason together.” God does not compel us, but he encourages us to reason with him.
In Isaiah 43:26 God says, “Let us review the situation together, and you can present your case if you have one,” (NLT).
We read in Proverbs 19:11, “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.”
Do not use anger or violence to correct angry and violent people. You can be stern in your remarks without being loud and angry.
You can be moderately stern, or even moderately angry just enough to express your displeasure about the attitude that your opponent is exhibiting, without being too angry or violent.
Paul writes in 2 Timothy 2:14, “Keep reminding them of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen,” (NIV). And in Proverbs 20:3 we read, “Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling,” (NLT),
Violent people love violence. Evil minds enjoy inflicting pain on people.
Evil minds lie against other people. They are cold when they lie. They even believe in their lies and don’t care about the consequences. Their conscience is seared with hot iron (1 Timothy 4:1-2) and they don’t even feel God’s Spirit prodding them when they are doing wrong.
The Ghanaian weekly, The Spectator, on Saturday, February 26, 2011, in the “Obaa Yaa” column, published a letter under the headline, “My Wife Is Very Difficult.” It was written by a man who had been married for 10 years at the time of writing. The woman he married was making life hell for him. She was difficult and refused to listen or understand him.
He wrote that his wife was individualistic and selfish. She did not consult him in anything she did. She listened more to people than to him. When he threatened to divorce her, she pleaded with him to rescind his decision and promised to change. But despite the assurances she gave him, she went back to her old ways.
Another letter by a 29-year-old man, to the Ghanaian weekly, The Mirror, was published on Saturday, June 27, 2009. The young man was married to a 25-year-old woman, and they had been married for three years and had a two-year-old daughter. He indicated in his letter that he and his wife were Christians.
He wrote,
“Recently, we had a misunderstanding and while we exchanged sharp words, she slapped me. The problem was reported to our Pastor who asked one of the church elders to help settle the dispute.
When we got home, she was in the bedroom, so I called her requesting her to come for the settlement. This irritated her so much that she came out and slapped me again in front of the church elder.
I have decided to divorce her as a result of such gross disrespect but because of our marriage vows before God, I find it difficult to do. I need your help.”
Romans 12:2 and Ephesians 4:23 advise Christians to change their mental attitude and be transformed by the renewing of our minds, so that we can know God’s will, and what is proper and pleasing to him.
Study to know the will of God. The Bible explains how we should relate to each other, and how we should love each other. Feed your mind with thoughts of love and good deeds and practice them.
Use your mind constructively under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Do not fight people who disagree with you. Do not curse or hate people who regard themselves as your enemies. Disagreements should not make people enemies.
Use encouraging words to correct them from wrong-doing to do what is right. Let them understand why they should avoid exhibiting negative behaviors. You can disagree with their negative stance or attitude without being frontal with your arguments.
Jesus used the reverse method of engagement when he encountered the Samaritan woman in John 4:5-42.
The woman responded sarcastically when Jesus asked her for water to drink. But Jesus responded by using the reverse approach. He ignored her remarks, but told her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who is saying to you, ‘Please give me a drink,’ you would have been the one to ask him, and he would have given you living water,” (ISV). Jesus addressed her needs and told her that if she knew who she was speaking to and the gift of God she would have asked for living water from him.
As you read the dialogue, you notice that Jesus spoke about life in general and the woman’s needs without demeaning the woman. Even when she eventually swallowed her pride and asked him to give her the living water, Jesus did not tell her bluntly that she had to repent of her sins of promiscuity first.
Of course, she had to confess and repent before God would forgive her. But knowing the situation between the Jews and the Samaritans, it was not wise for a Jew to tell a Samaritan in the face that he or she was a sinner and must first repent and confess his or her sins before he or she could receive the blessings of the living water. Jesus used the reverse method to make her aware of the need to confess and repent of her sins before she could obtain forgiveness.
By now, because of how Jesus had dialogued with her, she and Jesus had become friendly towards each other. So, when Jesus told her to go and bring her husband, she could tell him she had no husband. Though Jesus knew that she was living with a man who was not her husband, he did not tell her that straight in the face. He asked her to go and bring her husband, expecting her to confess voluntarily.
At this point in their meeting, the woman and Jesus were now friendly towards each other. So, she could easily tell Jesus that she didn’t have a husband, though she was living with a man. It would not have been easy for her to confess to a stranger, and a Jew for that matter, that she was living in sin with a man who was not her husband. But Jesus had changed the atmosphere from antagonistic to friendly and peaceful. And so, she could easily tell Jesus that she didn’t have a husband. It wouldn’t have been easy for her to tell him if antagonism existed between them. Remember that the Jews and the Samaritans were not friendly to each other.
Jesus had doused the enmity between the Jews and the Samaritans and made it easy for her to confess her sinful state to a stranger who was a Jew. It is easier to tell an acquaintance your faults or sins than to a stranger or an enemy. And Jesus had broken down the enmity wall between them and created an atmosphere of friendship. So, she could tell him, a Jew, that she had no husband.
And her confession opened the way for Jesus to talk about her previous life with five men, and her current situation that, even “…the man you have now is not your husband. What you have said is true.” (ISV)
If Jesus had not first created an atmosphere of friendliness it would not have been easy for the Samaritan woman to tell him, a Jew, that she was a sinner. The atmosphere of friendliness made it possible for Jesus, a Jew, to remind a Samaritan woman of her life of promiscuity without the Samaritan becoming offended.
Jesus maintained the peace while he reminded the woman of her sinful life without offending her.
Unfortunately, some people speak like the piercing of the sword. The tongue of the wise, however, promotes healing, (Proverbs 12:18).
