How to make people listen to you, and how to make people accept your message … Part 2

How long have you been battling with the question of “how to make people listen to you”?

Do you struggle with the question of “how to make people accept your message”?

Do you get angry and frustrated when people reject your message?

Do you use the frontal attack as religious militants do?
Market street scene
The frontal attack is combative.

It attacks the listener in the guise of providing information, and triggers a fight response from the listener. It is aggressive in approach and invites same in response. 

It is the method militants use. It is not peaceful, and has no touch of love. It is brutal and does not consider the feelings and rights of others.

Never use the frontal attack; use the reverse method

Explain the benefits of what you are offering. Make the listener see how he or she will benefit. Do not force the listener. Let him or her decide; let him or her choose willingly.  People want to choose what they want, and what they think will benefit them.

The Samaritan woman Jesus met by the well had lived a life of a whore; she had lived with five different people. At the time Jesus met her, she was living with a sixth man, (John 4:17-18). She needed spiritual deliverance.
However, Jesus knew that the existing enmity between the Jews and the Samaritans could make it difficult for her to listen to Him. He, therefore, used the reverse method. He asked her for water. When she reminded Jesus that Jews and Samaritans did not talk to each other, Jesus ignored the remark, and rather stated her spiritual need.
Jesus told her,

“If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who is saying to you, ‘Please give me a drink,’ you would have been the one to ask him, and he would have given you living water.” (International Standard Version)

Jesus used ‘water’ to get the woman’s attention. Water was her need at that time. She wondered how Jesus would give her  living water when He had no bucket to draw water; besides, moments ago He had asked her for water to drink. Jesus was using a strategy to engage her to talk back so He could explain to her the spiritual gift He had for her. If Jesus had started by telling her He wanted to give her a gift, she would have ignored Him.

When she retorted, Jesus ignored her sarcasm and rather emphasized on her spiritual need. She became interested in the special water that could “become a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.” (John 4:14)
He was offering the woman eternal life by using what she valued at the time -‘water’. He got her undivided attention. She was no more thinking about the enmity between Jews and Samaritans. She was now willing to receive from a Jew.
She said,

“Sir, give me this water that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw water.” (John 4:15)

Jesus now had to make her confess her life of sin. Again, He refrained from using the frontal method. He did not tell her, “You must confess your sin before I can give you this water.” That would have provoked her. She would have called other Samaritans to come and see a Jew who had the audacity to come to the city of Samaritans and insult a Samaritan. Angry Samaritans would have come out to lynch that Jew.
He told her to go and bring her husband, though He knew she had no husband. The woman on her own volition confessed that she had no husband. By her confession she  gave Jesus the opportunity to remind her the number of men she had lived with.

That was a powerful revelation

She wondered, “How can this man know my secret life? Is He a prophet?” She answered back, “Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet.” She proceeded to talk about worship and the disagreement between Jews and Samaritans, providing Jesus the opportunity to teach her.
After listening to Jesus expound on worship and spirituality, and telling her He was the Messiah, she became convinced. She left her water pot, went her way into the city, and told other Samaritans about the stranger who could be the Christ; her testimony drew the people to Jesus.

People will listen to you if you articulate your views convincingly
Do not use force as the Boko Haram, Al-Shabaab, ISIS, Al-Qaeda, and other religious militants are doing
Aftermath of Boko Haram Islamic militants attack and destruction of a village and a Christian church in northern Nigeria
Aftermath of Boko Haram Islamic militant attack and destruction of a village and a Christian church in northern Nigeria

 

  • Do not attack people when they do not readily respond to your message
  • Show them the beauty of your cause, not the ugliness and hatred of your cause
  • Patiently discuss how the listener stands to gain when he or she accepts what you are offering.

(Read “Murder and rape in God’s name… God’s Executioners on the loose.”)

The Almighty God, the all Powerful One, does not compel people. Why should you? He says, “Come now, and let us reason together…” (Isaiah 1:18).

 

Where is the God of Peace?

Can a God of peace be so violent and brutal?

Where is that God of mercy and love that prophets of old preached? Where is that God who so loved the world that He sent His Son to proclaim peace, love and everlasting life? Where is that God who did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved? (John 3:16-17)

Rockeybell Radio ProgramViolent people make God to conform to their mode of thinking and behavior. They create a God who acts like themselves, and who treats people unkindly.

Why rob God of His true character and being?

Being angry and violent in character, violent people cannot present a deity who is non-violent.  The deity they proclaim is like them; violent and angry.

Read Rockeybell’s testimony…

Militants present a non-compassionate, non-merciful and angry deity.

They use religion to cause pain on fellow human beings

They create a vengeful supervisor of suicide bombers; a leader of killers of innocent people; one who supervises the killings of innocent lives.

They dictate to God how God must behave and what He must want.

They become angry when we tell them that a merciful God is not unmerciful and  violent.  They attack us because we present God as kind, benevolent and merciful; they see us as weak or timid. They prefer a God who is violent.

The God of the militants is a militant. His love is different from the non-militant God.

They tell us that God is merciful… that God is compassionate. Yet they present to us one who is always angry and one who does not forgive. They present to us one who orders his people to decapitate people who do not accept his teachings. Instead of explaining and convincing people to understand him, they preach fear and death!

Jesus told His followers,

Put your sword in its place, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword. Or do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will provide Me with more than twelve legions of angels?” (Matthew 26:52-53; New King James Version)

Jesus taught us to love, to tolerate and to forgive. He said God can defend Himself, and so we do not need to fight and kill for God.

Listen to our audio messages…

Man’s duty is to warn and not to compel (Ezekiel 3:18-21). The choice to accept rests with the hearer.

In the Bible when Gideon destroyed the altar of Baal, and the people rose up against him, wanting to kill him, his father, who incidentally was priest for Baal, said that the people should let Baal plead for himself, because it was his altar that had been torn down (Judges 6:28-32).

In the Qur’an we read, “There is no compulsion in religion …” (2:256) and “If you strive (or fight) you strive (or fight) for yourselves, for God does not need the help of his creatures …” (29:6).

If God cannot defend Himself, how then can God defend His worshipers?

Jesus told His followers,

“Whatever city you enter, and they do not receive you, go out into its streets and say, ‘The very dust of your city which clings to us we wipe off against you. Nevertheless know this that the kingdom of God has come near you.’ But I say to you that it will be more tolerable in that Day for Sodom than for that city.” (Luke 10:10-12; New King James Version)

Jesus told His followers not to compel people. He also told His followers,

“… the time is coming that whoever kills you will think that he offers God service. And these things they will do to you because they have not known the Father nor Me.”  (John 16:2-3)

People are maliciously attacking our site because we preach peace and we tell people not to hate
They are maliciously trying to hijack our site and prevent us from spreading the words of love

On April 23, 2015, a total of 2,104 malicious login attempts were recorded from across five (5) different countries. On April 25, more attacks from other countries were still being recorded; some even from Thailand, Italy, France, etc. The attacks have not stopped. By 28 April, we have experienced 2,305 malicious login attempts.

Anger, hate and violence is everywhere. Persuasion, however, is the preferred Christian method of presenting views or beliefs.

People will not happily love and serve you if you use force. You will always have to force them to love you, and that would not be genuine love.

You may want to learn about winning without attacking…

Power of Persuasion… Part 4… Conclusion

Winning by persuasion

Persuasion and Peace
                 Persuasion and Peace
Jesus demonstrated the power of persuasion when He communicated with hostile or difficult people

A Samaritan woman had lived with several men. She needed salvation. Jesus knew the woman would not accept the truth from Him because of the hostility between the Jews and the Samaritans. He, therefore, started a friendly dialogue to make her talk to Him.

She was surprised that a Jew would ask a Samaritan water to drink. Jesus ignored her remark and dealt directly on her spiritual need.

He led her patiently, with persuasion, to the point where she could assimilate the truth and admit her sins.

With enmity out of the way, and Jesus now a friend, she could ask for the living water that Jesus said He had. Through that woman,  the rest of the Samaritans came to hear Jesus, and believed in Him (John 4:5-42).

Abraham Lincoln asked, “Am I not conquering my enemies when I make them my friends?”

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What the Qur’an also says about compelling people        

 “And whoever strives, he strives only for himself. Verily, Allah stands not in need of any of the ‘Alamin (mankind, jinn and all that exists)…” (29:6; The Noble Qur’an: English translation of the Meanings and Commentary.)

Again we read,

“And had your Lord willed, those on earth would have believed, all of them together. So, will you (O Muhammad) then compel mankind, until they become believers? It is not for any person to believe, except by the leave of Allah, and he will put the wrath on those who are heedless.” (10:99-100)

Why then do militants compel people to accept their religion?

Proverbs 15:2 says, “The tongue of the wise uses knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools pours out foolishness.”

Tenzuk FestivalCoercion, hate and violence do not win people’s sympathy.

Militants use violence to promote their religion, and yet they claim they promote a peaceful God, and a peaceful religion.

  • The New Testament presents a tolerant and peaceful way
  • Jesus asked His followers to use persuasion

Jesus said we must not pray for the destruction of our enemies. We should rather pray that they do not succeed in their evil ways. I pray that evil people will change and become good and peaceful children of God.

You may want to take a look at some eBooks…..

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The Bible way of treating enemies

When the Syrian army came to capture Elisha, he prayed and they became  blind and helpless. Elisha asked the King not to kill them, but feed, treat them well, and send them safely back to their home country (2 Kings 6:8-23).

Jesus would not allow His disciples to call fire on the Samaritans. They wanted to do as Elijah did (2 Kings 1:9-12).  Jesus told them the Spirit of the Christian (of the New Testament)  is not the same as the Old Testament (Luke 9:51-56). The Spirit in the Christian is loving and forgiving; Christians are to love even their worst enemies.

Learn to listen even when you disagree with people

We like to listen to what we agree with. However, we should also learn to listen to what we disagree with. We learn a lot about the person who is speaking when we listen; we learn why he or she is angry or why he or she has a different view.

Neuropsychologists (and neuroscientists) explain that, when we are alone and speaking to ourselves, one part of the brain speaks while the other part listens.

We must, therefore, learn to listen.

Angry people do not like listening to people; they want to speak while everyone else listens to them. If you do not listen to people, people will also not want to listen to you.

Effective listening starts with learning to respect other people’s views
  • Do not argue, do not debate, and do not force your views on people.
  • Do not strive to prove them wrong. Do not attack their views; you will indirectly make them dislike you.
  • Discuss; do not give instructions. Explain and give valid reasons.
  • Be friendly. See your opponent as a friend and not an antagonist.
  • Listen to their objections and address them candidly.
  • Tolerate and don’t be sarcastic in your remarks.
  • Smile …. don’t be angry.
Persuade; do not force

John Locke said,

“The care, therefore, of every man’s soul belongs unto himself, and is to be left unto himself…. No man can be forced to be rich or healthful, whether he will or no. Nay, God Himself will not save men against their wills.” (John Locke, A Letter Concerning Toleration; Prometheus Books, Buffalo, 1990, page 35)

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How Christianity wins without attacking

Winning without attacking people

WE CONQUER WITHOUT VIOLENCE
  • Violent, intolerant people become angry when they fail to convince people to accept their views.
  • Angry husbands brutalize their wives and children when they are unable to make them accept their views.
  • Religious militants attack people and force their religions on them.

Compelling people to accept your views will not make them love you

Jesus taught His followers to use peaceful persuasion.

Aesop illustrates  this in a fable, the North Wind and the Sun.

The North Wind and the Sun argued about who was stronger. They agreed to try their powers upon a traveler, to see who could strip him of his cloak. The North Wind, gathering up all his force, came whirling furiously down upon the man, and caught up his cloak to wrest it from him; but the harder he blew, the more closely the man wrapped it round himself. Failing, he called upon the Sun to see what he, too, could do.

At first, the Sun beamed gently and warmly upon the traveler. The traveler, feeling the genial rays of the sun took off his garment, and walked with it hanging loosely on his shoulders. The Sun continued gradually until he finally released his full strength. At last, the man, overcome with heat, undressed and bathed in a stream that lay in his path, before completing his journey, more lightly clad.

When the Wind tried to wrest the cloak from the traveler, he fought back; on the other hand, when the Sun suggested that it was uncomfortable for him to wear his cloak in that heat, the man accepted the suggestion.

Convincing the listener is  more effective in winning a person

Do not compel people to believe.  Jesus said,

“But whatever city you enter, and they do not receive you, go out into its streets and say, ‘The very dust of your city which clings to us we wipe off against you. Nevertheless know this that the kingdom of God has come near you.’ But I say to you that it will be more tolerable in that Day for Sodom than for that city.” (Luke 10:10-12)

Biblical Christianity is non-violent

God has tremendous power to control people’s minds to worship Him. Yet, He has chosen not to do so. Being a loving God, He does not send suicide bombers to kill innocent people.

Why do Islamic militants prefer using force to make others accept their views?

The Qur’an, in 29:6, says, “And whoever strives, he strives only for himself. Verily, Allah stands not in need of any of the ‘Alamin (mankind, jinn and all that exists)…” (The Noble Qur’an: English translation of the Meanings and Commentary.)

The Qur’an emphatically declares that, “There is no compulsion in religion,” (2:256)

Again we read,

“And had your Lord willed, those on earth would have believed, all of them together. So, will you (O Muhammad) then compel mankind, until they become believers? It is not for any person to believe, except by the leave of Allah, and he will put the wrath on those who are heedless.” (10:99-100)

Why then do Muslim militants compel people to worship Allah?

Suicide bombers attack and kill people because they believe that when they die in the attacks, they will gain paradise. The militants, therefore, do not commit the atrocities on God’s behalf.

  • Jesus used love and persuasion to win Zacchaeus, (Luke 19:1-10)
  • He used persuasion to make the Samaritan woman understand Him, (John 4:7-30)
  • He said, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you; bless those who curse you and pray for those who spitefully use you,” (Luke 6:27-28)

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Christianity wins without attacking
Christianity wins by love. Jesus taught us to win without attacking.
True and saving religion should have the power to appeal

Genuine religion should be able to persuade and draw people to itself. When we use force we rather emphasize the negative judgments people have formed of us.

Killing innocent people, and abducting defenseless girls and women in the name of God does not help promote God’s cause.

Burning villages and churches, and killing Christians and people who do not accept their religions rather make the victims to hate the attackers and their religions.

We present a wicked, hardhearted God when we are intolerant and violent.

Winning Without Attacking
Rockeybell speaking on “How to communicate with hostile people.”

The Christian God is non-violent

  • The Christian God loves
  • He is truly compassionate.
  • He does not terrorize people.

Share your views with us on winning without fighting, and how can we make the world peaceful.

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